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Should We Be Worried?

Just received a flier in the mail today from the new property management company of our Homeowners' Association:

A Deed Restricted Community
April 1, 2011 is the deadline to remove mildew, clean up the yard and enjoy a bright flourishing neighborhood.
*Those deemed outside of compliance shall be forcibly removed from their homes on April 2, 2011, and flogged with red rope licorice whips in a public ceremony. Any flayed flesh (now suitably cherry-flavored) shall be collected, processed into man jerky, and fed to the hungry neighborhood children. Citizens are encouraged to inform on one another in the interest of mildew-free exteriors. Please join us as we make this a better place for everyone!
* This is actually my language, but you can read between the lines. It's pretty much what they were implying...


Aaron Polson said... jerky. Big brother, and your neighbors, are watching.

Karen from Mentor said...

If it's gonna be licorice, it should be red licorice.

Personally I only like anise as a flower.

*hands you a power washer*

Daniel W. Powell said...

Gotta agree with you on the licorice flavor, Karen. Might have to procure some Twizzlers before I go see The Rite this weekend (and we, thankfully, just painted, so we'll pass the inspection--but it will be interesting to see how it goes for some of our neighbors!)...

It's funny, Aaron--this company is serious. They send out notices and bust ass, and some of the neighbors are freaked out about it. Plus, the labor camp they built in the vacant lot at the end of my street didn't help any...