Transcripts from a Three-Way Emergency Call With the Florida Highway Patrol

Dispatcher: 911, what's your emergency?

Caller: (screaming in the background) Ummm. They're out in the median and (unintelligible)...eating a person over on the shoulder...

Dispatcher: Some one's eating a shoulder?

Caller: No...it ummmm...it looked like they were eating her guts. They're coming out of the trees on the side of 9A, near the scene of the accident. And...they're eating a woman. On the side of the road.

Dispatcher: You're on 9A? What's your middle name?

Caller: My middle...what the? Listen, I just drove through the scene of a major accident! You need to get the authorities down here pronto. They're...they look dead, and they were chewing on a woman (unintelligible)...Hurry!

Dispatch: Ok, sir, please calm down. You say you just drove through the accident?

Caller: Yeah, that's right. Florida 9A and Gate Parkway. Over by the mall. It looked like a tanker plowed into a bunch of stopped cars. There's bodies everywhere and...(unintelligible) zombies in the road. We saw a...we saw a women being eaten.

Dispatcher: Please hold, sir. I'm going to patch this call into the Florida Highway Patrol. (dial tone, pause, ringing).

Officer Dale: FHP forty-eight sixty-nine, over...

Dispatch: Officer Dale?

Officer Dale: You got him. Go ahead.

Dispatch: I have a caller on the phone. He wants to report another zombie disturbance on 9A.
Officer Dale: (loud sigh) Put him through. (pause) This is officer Chip Dale. We got a disturbance?

Caller: Uhhh, yes sir. I just passed 9A and Gate.

Officer Dale: Any dead?

Caller: Yes! They're all over the place, Officer Dale. They were coming out of the trees over by the mall. My wife thinks she saw one as far north as the college.

Officer Dale: They bitey?

Caller: Yeah. We...(unintelligible) saw a woman being eaten on the side of the road.

Officer Dale: Fair enough. Thanks for calling it in. We'll get right on it.

1 comment:

Kevin Cann said...

Thats the funniest thing i've read. i wish i had been there for that. where did you find this?

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