Side Effects Not Typical

January 16, 2010

Fox Broadcasting Company

P.O. Box 900

Attn: The Head Honcho

Beverly Hills, CA 90213-0900

Dear Mr. Calemczuk,

Well, it’s been a few days and I haven’t heard from you, so I thought I’d try another letter. Can you believe how mean Simon was on Wednesday? I mean really, that girl was trying very hard and he made her cry on national t.v.! It’s not her fault she has to live in South Dakota!

I love Simon to death, but I think he really needs someone like me up there on stage who can shoulder some of that responsibility. I read an article in US Weekly that said that he has a hard time falling asleep at night.

Has Simon tried using that Lunesta stuff that you guys have been advertising (that butterfly is SO cute!)? A lot of the girls in my support group take it and I’ve been on it for a little while. It’s really great—I go out like a light every night.

Mom’s trying to get me to quit the stuff, ever since she found me in the yard raking leaves at 3:30 in the morning. I actually don’t remember it happening, if you can believe that! Dad, thank God, told her to get off my case. He thinks it’s awesome that I’m “pitching in” around here.

And believe me, Mr. Calemczuk, if you give me a chance to work with Randy and Simon and even that icky Kara (what a total bi-yotch!), you’ll see that I’m a hard worker. I’m totally dedicated!

I’ve been making some extra money babysitting our neighbor’s twins, so I don’t need a decision like right away. But soon would be nice, because my parents have been really critical lately and I’d like to show them that I can take care of myself.

Thanks again for your time.

Sincerely,

Abbey Tinsdale, Yulee, Florida

P.S. Is there any chance you guys will be doing a swing through Florida again? If you can just send someone to pick me up in Yulee I can join the team before our next stop!